Bobbleheads and Action Figures

December 8, 2010

Last Sunday, one the youth at church pulled me aside and said, “I love the John Calvin bobblehead.  Now, you need a Martin Luther” (I had included the Calvin doll in an earlier post).  That stirred my creative juices and, with the help of Google, I found Luther and a few others besides. 

In an interesting side note, Luther may have come to understand grace on the can.  He suffered from terrible constipation most of his life.  One day, while reading the 1st chapter of Romans, he had an epiphany, coming to a different understanding of that grace than the church held.  Supposedly, when he finally got it, his constipation cleared up.  Thus, Protestantism may have been born on the john.  He also may have believed a demon lived in the toilet vault below him and said, “Demon, I’ll give you what goes down and I’ll give God what goes up”.  I can’t verify that, however, so it’s just hearsay.

Here’s the Calvin bobblehead again, in case you missed it.  I don’t have any fun little ditties about him.  If you do, please let me know.

Also, if you know of bobbleheads of John Wesley and Jacobus Arminius, please, please, please let me know where to find them. 

A John the Baptist bobblehead.  He’s got honey, but no locusts.  Where’s the protein?

Lest you think it’s only figures from antiquity who get a one of these, here’s good old Billy Graham.

Not being Reformed, I have no trouble giving the Catholics equal time.  John Paul may not be saint, but he is immortalized in bobblehead form. 

A Jesus action figure.  Several years ago, the creator of G. I. Joe launched a line of Christian action figures called Almighty Heroes.  Not sure if they’re still available.

This isn’t a bobble head or an action figure, but the text with the ad was just good to pass up.  This is directly from the website:

Six piece plastic playset is White with Red accents.The boxed playset includes:
*Helmet of Salvation
*Breastplate of Righteousness
*Belt of Truth
*Sword of the Spirit
*Shield of Faith
*Shin Guards of the Preparation of the Gospel of Peace (what?)
Also comes with a Parents Guide to help parents teach Eph 6:11-17 (put on the full armor of God) to their children.Can be worn by Boys or Girls ages 3 and up.However, this color scheme will probably appeal to Boys.

In closing, I’ll relate an exchange I had with my brother when I told him about the Luther bobblehead.  He’s the one who told me the Luther on the john story and after that he asked “What if we’re wrong and God really is vengeful?  We’re gonna get up to heaven and St. Peter’s gonna look at us and say ‘Martin Luther on the shitter?  Are you kidding me?  Get the hell out of here!”  I told him “I prefer to think we’re right and when we get there, St. Peter’s gonna say “Martin Luther on the shitter?  Man, that’s some funny stuff, come on in!”


6 Responses to “Bobbleheads and Action Figures”

  1. ryan said

    Hi there…I’m the manufacturer of the John Calvin bobblehead and I wanted to let you know that a John Wesley bobblehead is currently in production and should be ready in a few months. I’m trying to find schools that will carry them once they’re ready.

  2. alexaveryross said

    Indeed, I would love to have one… I wonder what Wesley would say? I wonder what Jesus would say? Perhaps I’m a bit too excited about a material thing but you’ve gotta laugh every once in a while.

  3. alexaveryross said

    Oh and Dietrich Bonhoeffer would be a good one and Dorothy Day and pretty much everyone in the drawing in this link by Daniel Erlander. Yup! Go for it!

  4. Kathryn Schultz said

    Next you need to find a John Knox bobblehead!

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