If You See It On a Bumper Sticker, It Must Be True

August 14, 2010

I love bumper stickers.  And, the tackier they are, the more I love ’em .  This all started when I was a kid.  When we would take a trip, I’d see cars with bumper stickers from all the places the owners had been and I thought it was wonderful.  I was always drawn to the racks of stickers in every dumpy little shop, gas station and Stuckey’s we stopped at.  I loved them all and wanted every one of them.  My mother would always try to steer me to the post cards, but they were never as good.  How can a namby-pamby post card saying  “Wish You Were Here!” compete with “Hot Today, Chile Tamale” (South of the Border) or “See Rock City!” (Rock City, of course)?  As I grew up, my fascination with bumper stickers never left me and I found a whole new (for me) genre of stickers: funny (?) religious bumper stickers.  Let’s look at a few:

Who’s deciding what God said and what it settled? 

A classic.

Do these people know how to work the guilt angle, or what?  Here’s another:

Wow.   All I can say is…, wow.

Jesus wants raccoons?  And, if does, couldn’t he get His own?

That “fishers of men” thing never gets old, does it?

What, He doesn’t love people who drive cars?

As a play on words, it’s remarkably lame.  As a kitschy, tacky bumper sticker, it’s genius.

Of course, no Christian bumper sticker list would be complete without a rapture reference.

A sub-genre of the religious sub-genre (would that be a sub-sub-genre?) is the snarky, anti-religious religious bumper sticker.  I love these because they appeal my own smart-alecky tendency to tweak the nose of people who take themselves just a little too seriously.  Some examples:

Ain’t that the truth.

I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve actually said these words.

So, Kilroy was inspired by God?

Business in the front, party in the back!

You know, a little Immodium would fix that.

One of my favorites.  And, true too.

Another favorite and a message I desperately want to impart to certain people.Yet another desperately needed message.

Hmm, I’m seeing a trend here…

Yeah, I know it’s not a bumper sticker.  But, I like it anyway. 

Counterpoint to the rapture sticker. 

And, finally, my favorite bumper sticker of all time:

A Christian fart joke?  That’s a first.

 I realize some of the snarky ones may be offensive to certain people.  But, it’s only fair; some of yours are offensive to everybody else.  Don’t worry though, I’m on the always on the lookout for new ones and I’m sure I’ll find something even more offensive.


3 Responses to “If You See It On a Bumper Sticker, It Must Be True”

  1. Gaspar Melchior said

    How about “I tried being an atheist, but there weren’t enough holidays!”

  2. Dale Husband said

    Thanks for the collection! I swiped a couple to add to my own blog:


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