She Needs Gushing

July 20, 2010


God knows I’m the last person to advise anyone about relationships.  Unless, of course, you want to know how to screw one up; then I’m your man.  But, tonight, I’m going to.  I’m writing this because the woman in my life told me tonight (subtly and not-so-subtly) that, occasionally, she needs me to gush over her.  Not in private, either.  No sir, it needs to be in public for all the world to see.  Okay, she didn’t really say that last part, I added it because I’ve been slacking off in that department and I’m trying to get out of the hole.  The reason I’m in that hole is that I don’t gush.  It’s not my style.  For me, gushing is just words and I prefer to show love in more concrete ways.  But, it’s not always about what I want.  She needs me to gush, I’ll gush.

I’m a lucky guy.  I’ve found a woman who not only puts up with my smart mouth, she gives it right back.  Her name is Diana Koenig and she doesn’t take any crap from me.  I like that.  In the past, women I’ve dated didn’t get it, didn’t like it and wanted to change it.  Not her,though.  She doesn’t try to change me.  Well, maybe a little, but it’s generally over things that I realize I need to change and I’m just to lazy or set in my ways to deal with.  She doesn’t criticize the bad stuff I do and she encourages the good stuff.  She’s part of the reason I started writing this blog.  She’s definitely a big part of why I continue.  She accepts and loves me for who I am, warts and all (believe me, there’s a lot of warts) and I’ve been looking for her for a long time.  Now, she’s here.  Thank you, God.

Early in this relationship, she gave me a book and asked me to read it.  It was a relationship book and, being a man, I did not want to read this book.  No man likes reading those things, they’re all touchy-feely and stuff and generally make our skin crawl.  Not mention too many of them are full of crap and, from our end, nothing good ever comes from them.  In fact, I’ll postulate that a significant portion of break-ups and divorces come from reading this drivel.  And, there was an added problem.  I fancy myself a writer (even if is on the internet) and, in my opinion, it was a dismally written book.  But, as I read it, something happened .  I realized that the information in it was good and, after a while, the poor writing didn’t bother me so much.  The book was The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  One the things I took away from it was that doing just a little of something for the one you love that causes you to step outside your comfort zone means more than doing a ton of the stuff you like to do.  So, tonight, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and gushing a little.  Because, not only does she need it, she deserves it.

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